Best Slasher Movies

Backwoods is nothing new. We’ve seen the plot in at least a dozen other – and better – movies, that this movie seems familiar at best and ripped-off at worst. There are some scenes that easily would’ve been at home in too many other movies to list here.

With that said, Backwoods isn’t  a bad movie once you get over it’s flaws – the biggest of which being the familiarity already mentioned. Even so, Backwoods has a lot going for it – it’s fast paced, suspenseful and manages to pull off that eerie out of place feeling that makes a slasher movie work. All told, this isn’t one of the best slasher movies I’ve ever seen, but it’s not the worst either.

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We’ve all heard the plot before. You know bad things are going to befall our three main characters (three normal, everyday college guys) when Scarce opens with them drinking at a party and trying to get laid. Slasher movie law dictates that at least two – maybe all three – have to die grizzly, gory deaths. Next we find them getting directions from locals (uh oh) and crashing their car in the middle of a blizzard with no idea where they are (bigger uh oh). One of the guys has a broken leg and is left behind as the other two seek help. Do I really need to elaborate on how this ends?

Sure we know where this is going from the moment the movie open, but Scarce manages to deliver. It doesn’t bore or waste time trying to be anything other than what it is. It’s a slasher film. The gore is fantastic and extremely well done, which is a little surprising considering the low budget. It manages to be creepy and frightening without feeling tired or played out. Very impressive debut from these rookie (Canadian!) filmmakers.

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Open Letter To Adam Green.

Dearest Adam,

Oh sir, what a beautiful, funny, scary mess of a movie you have given the world with Hatchet. This is cinematic horror brilliance. I can’t think of enough adjectives to describe how perfect this movie is. I applaud you.

You haven’t really broken any new ground here, but let’s be honest, you and I.You weren’t trying to. You wanted to pay homage to the horror movies of old. To the Freddys and the Jasons and the Michael Myers. You wanted to bring horror back to when it was at it’s best and my dear man, you have succeeded.

The cameos by the icons we know and love (Robert Englund from Nightmare on Elmstreet and Tony Todd from Candyman) was the crowning touch and casting the always amazing Kane Hodder (Friday the 13th) as your villain? Well there could’ve been no better choice.

The gore… oh Adam, the gore. I will never look at a belt sander again without cowering in fear.

Yes, all the horror movie cliches are here – the boobs, the blood – but of course that’s what you were going for. You know what works about a slasher movie and you played it to full and glorious effect.

The comedy is hilarious. The deaths are gory. The acting is fantastic and the production values are too shabby either. This is without question my favorite slasher film to come out in quite some time and to you, Adam Green, I say thank you.

Love and kisses;

Slasherella

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The inbred, deformed psychos are back and still slaughtering in Wrong Turn 2: Dead End.

As with the first, the plot is a little on the lax side, but the overabundance of blood and guts makes it worth it. Also, there’s Henry Rollins (Dale) which gives it a boost of awesome.Kimberly Caldwell (of American Idol fame) plays an annoying reality show contestant which must’ve been a stretch for her.

This movie is delightful, but not for someone who wants something intellectually challenging – or even something requiring average intelligence, but hey, we’re talking about slasher movies here. Who really cares? Wrong Turn 2: Dead End is good fun and there’s nothing wrong with that.

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Wrong Turn is standard slasher flick fare, but it accomplishes its goal admirably. It scares, it shocks and it delivers the blood. The killings are brutal and gory and the villains are grotesque and frightening. I’d have liked to see the setting be a little more creepy and ominous, but it serves its purpose.

Sure Wrong Turn might be a little lacking in the plot department, but, like porn, no one watches a slasher movie for the story. You pick a slasher movie for the blood and guts and Wrong Turn makes sure you’re not disappointed.

Aside from setting up why these kids (our inbred monsters’ victims) are in the woods in the first place, there is little in the way of plot or story development. Wrong Turn is what it is – three deranged, disfigured crazies  chasing down the hotties and hacking them up.

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