Best Slasher Movies

Hostel isn’t for everyone. I think that really goes without saying at this point. It got such overwhelmingly negative reviews, but I’m not sure what people were expecting. The movie was brutal – an absolute gory mess, but what else would we expect from Mr. Eli Roth?

There were two major complaints I heard about Hostel – too much sex and too much needless gore. My response to that is simply a question, how could you tell a story that begins in Amsterdam’s infamous red light district and leads our main characters to a factory where rich people pay to torture and kill people without nudity and graphic violence.

I, for one, didn’t find the violence in Hostel the least bit unnecessary. And hey, it’s not like the audience didn’t have a lot of warning. After the first screening, word spread quickly (especially about the eye scene) that this wasn’t a movie for the faint of heart.

Eli Roth has made one hell of a slasher movie with Hostel. It’s engrossing, you feel for characters, and it’s truly terrifying. The cast is great with Jay Hernandez (Quarantine) giving us an especially great performance. There are those that say the premise of rich people paying money to torture and kill people isn’t believable. To those people, I say closing a blind eye to the dark side of humanity doesn’t keep you safe from it. Sure Hostel wasn’t based on a true story, but I can definitely believe it easily could’ve been.

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Okay, so it’s bad. I won’t try to lie to you. The Haunting of Molly Hartley is the same thing we’ve seen a hundred times and the scares are few and far between… yet, I found myself oddly engrossed by it.

I had only mild curiosity in seeing it in the first place. Chase Crawford and AnnaLynn McCord aren’t exactly big draws for me, but I said to myself, ‘Slasherella, that’s just not fair of you. Give it a chance.’ So when it showed up in the house I put it in. Why not? I got what I expected. A mildly entertaining little film that didn’t even have good gore on its side. That said, I couldn’t look away. I wanted to. I really did, but it grabbed my attention and kept it to the end.

Was it good? Not really. Was it unique? Far from it. Was it entertaining? I suppose. Was it at least bloody? Sadly, not really. But I watched it all the same. I guess somewhere in the dark recesses of my mind, on some level, I must’ve liked it. Maybe you will too.

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So, here we have Funny Games US, the American adaptation of the 1997 German film of the same name. These days, there’s really nothing unusual about remaking a newer foreign horror film. It happens all the time. What is unusual is that both films were brought to us by the same man, Michael Haneke.

So… why did he make what is essentially the same film twice? Well, he said he believed violence as entertainment (the main premise of Funny Games) is an ‘American Phenomenon’. Is that true? I’m not sure. But hey, I don’t have to be. Funny Games (both versions) doesn’t really try to make that point. The point it tries to make (and succeeds at making) is that people are so comfortable in their existences that they don’t really see what happens around them. They feel safe and secure in a world that really doesn’t allow that, and this movie pounds that point home.

The performances in this movie are amazing. Tim Roth and Michael Pitt are especially good but Naomi Watts… oh Naomi Watts. She’s so fabulous. She’s excellent in this movie, but she’s excellent in everything she does.

There isn’t really a lot of gore in this movie, but this is yet another example of a movie that uses implied gore to make a stronger impact. Funny Games is terrifying, real and unbelievably disturbing. See it.

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Eden Lake is disturbing. This is not a movie for your typical horror buff because it goes far beyond gore and jump scares. It goes beyond chasing dim-witted teenagers through the woods and hacking them up. It goes beyond zombies or viruses or supernatural ghosts threatening mankind. Eden Lake goes for your emotions and that’s what it’s such a fantastic movie.

Eden Lake isn’t a brainless slasher film although it does have more than a little gore. The gore and the torture is graphic, but in a way that’s necesary to the plot.

I think the thing that’s scariest about this movie is it’s so believable. Gang violence is a real problem and this movie doesn’t shy away from that. It raises a lot of questions, but of course there are no easy answers. That seems to be what bothered people about Eden Lake the most. There was no Hollywood ending. There was no real conclusion that summed everything up. It left you with the questions it leaves you with because in real life, there are no easy answers.

I can’t think of much more terrifying than that.

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I’m not sure how I managed to overlook Dead Silence for so long considering it’s directed by James Wan who also co-wrote it with Leigh Whannell; the demeted duo that brought us Saw. Somehow, though, Dead Silence slipped completely under my radar which is sad as when I finally did see it, I was upset with myself for not seeing it sooner.

It would’ve been easy for Wan and Whannell to produce a Saw clone after the success of the first movie and while the theme of creepy dolls is carried on in Dead Silence, don’t watch it excepting another Saw sequel. It’s very unique in that it doesn’t rely as much on the gore (although there are some especially gory scenes) but focuses more on creating genuinely scary villains and a creepy atmosphere.

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Come on guys, it’s not that bad.

Rarely have I seen such overwhelmingly negative reviews for one movie. One Missed Call, a remake of 2003’s Japanese horror film Chakushin Ari, has been called a million name and most of the reviews seem to think puns on the movies name are funny. They’re not. Well, maybe the first ‘One Missed Call should be one missed movie’ joke was, but it get more than a little old after the tenth variation. Really… enough already.

I don’t generally listen to reviews. There are reasons regarding my belief that the general movie going public has no clue what a decent horror movie is, but that’s a whole other rant. The fact remains that I like to make up my own mind about a movie, and One Missed Call was no different… although…

I have to admit I was skeptical. I mean, can that many people really be wrong? After watching the movie, I don’t really have an answer for that. I didn’t love it, but I definitely didn’t hate it. One Missed Call was very effective in building that creepy vibe that makes a good horror movie work so well, but on the other hand, the PG-13 rating really restricted the filmmakers in terms of decent gore.

All in all, it wasn’t a terrible movie and it at least succeeded in a few good jumps, some diturbing images and being creepy. Edward Burns and Margaret Cho (briefly, but worth mentioning) give fairly good performances. Shannyn Sossaman… well, I love that girl. I refuse to rag on her performance when she really didn’t have much to work with.

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Finally a return to excellent Stephen King adaptations.

Frank Darabont does an incredible job of adapting Stephen King’s The Mist into a truly frightening movie. Like King’s original story, the movie doesn’t just rely on gore (although it is definitely top shelf gore and there’s plenty of it) to scare its audience. The Mist’s greatest strength is in the unique way it plays on what a danger we as people are to ourselves. It exposes people’s fears, prejudices and core beliefs as well as effectively showing the real horror of group mentality.

The entire cast performs in such a believable and real way. While they’re all very talented actors I think much of the credit has to go to an excellently written script. There’s a real humanity to this story and while the premise isn’t necessarily believable, the way the people react definitely is. The stand outs in the cast are definitely the incredible performances by Thomas Jane and Marcia Gay Harden. You feel so strongly for these people which is such a rarity in horror movies. You care about them and that makes you want to watch to see what happens.

The Mist is an expertly crafted horror movie with lots of gore but lots of emotion. My only warning is that the ending is truly shocking, disturbing not easy to take. The Mist is not for the faint of heart.

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So, I’m kind of tired of people looking for a superb plot in a slasher film. That’s not the point folks, generally speaking of course. Slasher films aren’t for the brain – unless you’re looking to see a brain splattered all over a wall.

There are some movies that manage to be intelligent and some that actually seek to make a point among the carnage. These are a rare exception and The Hitcher isn’t one of them.

The Hitcher is a gory, frightening and suspenseful mess. You know what’s going to happen and what’s wrong with that? There are plot holes you could drive an ambulance through. Again, I don’t see the problem.

You aren’t meant to nit pick this movie. It’s just a fun ride with a super scary passenger. Just sit back and enjoy it. It’s not a masterpiece (and it’s nowhere near as good as the original), but it’s not garbage either.

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I heard The Cottage described as a ‘British horror comedy’ and knew I had to see it. The fact that the brilliant Andy Serkis (Clueless, 13 Going on 30, Lord of the Rings) was involved only made me want to see it more. I had such high hopes and was sure the movie could only be a let down. I have never been more wrong.

The Cottage works on every level. From the moment it began, I knew it was going to be awesome. The music was campy and fun – perfect way to set the tone for the movie. The cast was especially good and the dialogue was witty and sharp. The gore is excellent and very well done; as is the entire movie. Definitely a must see for fans of a good mix of horror and comedy.

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Mena Suvari and Stephen Rea turn in amazing performances in Stuck – a dark comedy (very, very dark) inspired by a true story. The important thing to note here is that it is inspired by a true story not based on. The car crash that sets the scene for the events that take place actually took place. Everything else is fictionalized. That doesn’t take anything away from the story.

I can understand why Stuck might not appeal to a wider audience. The comedy is extremely dark which combined with the gore and tendency to highlight the absolute worst in people make it a hard movie for the general public to swallow. I, however, am far from the general public and found the movie worked very well.

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