Best Slasher Movies

There is nothing better than a small budget slasher movies. The focus isn’t all on special effects and making things look cool, but instead goes mainly to the story and the real scares, and The Signal is a perfect example of that. That’s not to say it doesn’t have more than its fair share of the red stuff, but the story doesn’t just exist to lead us to the next kill.

What if technology ran amok and caused people to go insane? The movie poses that question and paints a truly frightening picture of what the result would be.

The thing that works most about The Signal is the way its shot. The film is split into three segments, each with a different director. The first sets everything up so well, the second is filled with delicious dark comedy and the third perfectly ties everything together.

The Signal could’ve failed in so many ways, but it avoids the typical horror movie cliches and works on every possible level.

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I remember when news broke that Uwe Boll was making a movie based on the tunnel rats in the Veitnam war. Anyone at all familiar with his work immediately started predicting the worst. Boll has built up quite a reputation for himself – and not the kind of reputation most people would want. The problem with that is, if I skipped Boll’s movies because of his reputation like most people seem to do, I would’ve skipped Tunnel Rats and that would’ve been a shame.

Good job, Uwe. You finally made a terrific movie.

Tunnel Rats is everything it needs to be – brutal, honest and unflinching. Ignore the typical deluge of negative reviews that Uwe Boll’s movies usually get. I have a suspicion that those panning Tunnel Rats didn’t even take the time to watch it. That’s sad. They missed out on one of the best movies about the Vietnam war in a long time.

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30 years. Does that seem crazy to any one else? I, myself, am only 27. I knew that the franchise was older than me, but it has such a timeless feel, it’s hard to remember that when watching the movies. His Name Was Jason doesn’t take anything from that timelessness at all.

Featuring clips from every movie in the franchise and interviews with many key people involved in the franchise (cast and crew alike), His Name Was Jason is necessary viewing for all fans of the Friday the 13th series. It’s entertaining and very well put together. Since it was released just before the remake came out, it would’ve been easy to turn this into a commercial for the new film, but instead His Name Was Jason focuses on the whole series – and does it splendidly.

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Now c’mon… Tim Burton and Johnny Depp are magic together. Throw in a little Helena Bonham Carter (Fight Club), Alan Rickman (Harry Potter, Dogma), Sascha Baron Cohen (Da Ali G Show, Borat, Bruno) and Jamie Campbell Bower (The Twilight Saga: New Moon) and you have gold.

That said…

I felt slightly let down by Sweeney Todd when the movie ended. Sure the gore was more than expected which was a great bonus and the acting was top notch. The songs were great and Johnny Depp sings better than I was expecting. Helena Bonham Carter doesn’t have the greatest voice, but she tackled the role with vigor and it came across well. Jamie Campbell Bower was the real stand out for me – excellent actor with an incredible voice. The songs were great and it didn’t seem as flamboyant as most musicals are. It was a musical without the over the top theatrics and it worked well. The dark colors used for the costumes, sets and makeup were a perfect fit for a deliciously dark story. It should have been a roaring success.

In the end though, I felt Sweeney Todd was missing something. I can’t say exactly what it was. Perhaps it was nothing more than not being able to meet the ridiculously high expectations I set for it. I’ve watched it several times and I must say my somewhat empty feeling after the first trip through London with Mrs. Lovett and her demented love interest was hasty and unfair. With a more open mind and lowered expectations, I enjoyed Sweeney Todd much, much more.

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I fail to see how The Unborn garnered such terrible reviews when it really wasn’t a terrible movie at all. This is another great example of people bitching for the sake of bitching, and that’s unfortunate.

First, Gary Oldman (Fifth Element, Batman Begins, The Dark Knight) is great in The Unborn, but it’s my opinion that he’s great in everything. Odette Yustman (Cloverfield) is gorgeous and turned in a believable performance as did the also gorgeous Cam Gigandet (Twilight, Never Back Down). No one’s gonna win any awards for The Unborn, but the performances were strong and there were some good scares. Once again, the dreaded PG-13 rating has robbed us of any real decent gore, but again, sometimes implied gore is more fun.

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Okay slasher fans… we need to talk. I’m serious. I’m starting to get a little pissed off here and I need to get this off my chest. No… don’t talk – just listen. Here goes.

Let’s lay off the Lindsay Lohan bashing, okay? I mean, c’mon, at this point it’s kinda beating a dead horse, is it not? What can be said about the girl that hasn’t been said a million times? She has problems. She has a lot of problems. Can we just move the fuck on already?

Lindsay Lohan has been cast in Machete and people are pissed. Can I just say I don’t understand that in the least? People are actually planning on skipping what can only be an amazing movie because they don’t like one of the actresses in it. Whatever happened to giving something a chance? Whatever happened to having an open mind? Whatever happened to not being a complete idiot who just follows the crowd?

“Lindsay Lohan robs this movie of all credibility.” Okay, so that’s not a direct quote from any particular place – more a basic summary of the main argument against casting Lindsay in Machete. Ridiculous – completely fuckin’ bananas. Who in the hell cares about that shit? I mean, really – have you seen the trailer? (if not, click here) When did this movie have credibility to begin with? Machete is brought to us by the fine folks that gave us Planet Terror and Death Proof. These movies had no point and no purpose, but they were both completely fuckin’ badass. I have seen Planet Terror more times than I can possibly count and Fergie was in that. Fergie. This is a girl that sang about her humps her humps her humps. Her lovely lady lumps. Come on! You wanna talk credibility? Talk about that!

Grindhouse makes movies like movies should be made; smart dialogue, good action, big boobs and lots of guts – both literally and figuratively. I trust Tarantino and Rodriguez to deliver a quality flick and I would go to Machete no matter who they cast in it.

But hey, let’s talk about that cast, shall we? Danny Trejo, Michelle Rodriguez, Jessica Alba (who actually bothers me much more than Lohan. I have never seen her in a good movie), Cheech Marin, Steven Seagal, Don Johnson, Jeff Fahey (who I adored in the above mentioned Planet Terror) and finally, ROBERT fuckin’ DE NIRO. Robert De Niro, people. You wanna talk about credibility? Fuck Lohan, Machete has De Niro. That man… well, fuck, if you don’t know, I’m wasting my time anyway.

If you’re not going to see Machete because Lindsay Lohan’s in it, then I feel sincerely sorry for you. I really do. There is no way this movie is going to be anything short of amazing. Need proof? Shut up and watch the trailer then ask yourself, do I really want Lindsay Lohan to have that kind of control over my life? If you don’t see Machete, you’re letting Lohan win, and we don’t want that now, do we? Yeah… think about that.

Don’t agree? Tell me! The comment box is there for a reason, folks.

Love,
Slasherella.

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Good God, I cannot wait for this movie! I can’t. I just… argh! I’m so excited. No more can be said. Too… ugh. I can’t deal. I can’t even deal. Click… ‘read more of this gory tale’ and… just watch the trailer. Now.

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If you’ve never seen the original When A Stranger Calls (released in 1979 and staring Carol Kane) you likely won’t be disappointed by this 2006 remake. And hey, even if you have seen the original but have an open mind, you likely won’t  be disappointed either. When A Stranger Calls isn’t as good as the original, but if you just watch it as a stand alone movie it isn’t that bad either.

Camilla Belle (10 000 BC, The Ballad of Jack and Rose, Push) is great as tormented babysitter Jill Johnson and the movie is successful most when trying to be creepy and ominous. There are some decent scares although the rating prevents any real decent gore from being shown.

Sure the 2006 remake of When A Stranger Calls isn’t as good as the 1979 original, but it is worth watching. This is a fun movie; just don’t expect it to live up to its namesake or expect a cinematic masterpiece. This one is definitely one of those movies where most of the fun comes from throwing popcorn at the screen andyelling at the lead for doing stupid things. Enjoy it for that and a great performance by Camilla Belle.

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Okay, let’s get this over with. Paris Hilton is in Repo! The Genetic Opera. Get your groaning and moaning out of the way so we can move on……

Done? Okay good. Don’t skip Repo! because you don’t like Paris Hilton. To do that would be to deprive yourself of a fun, disturbing, gory and all around awesome movie directed by Darren Lynn Bousman who also directed Saw II, Saw III and Saw IV. Impressive resume and impressive film.

The cast is spectacular – each and every performance is solid although there are some weaker that others. Nope, not talking about Paris here; given she doesn’t deliver the best performance in the movie, but I’m referring to Bill Moseley (House of 1000 Corpses, The Devil’s Rejects). He isn’t bad as badass Luigi Largo and he was very well cast for the part,but if I had to pick a weakest like it would be him.

Next, yes, it would be Paris Hilton as Amber Sweet. That said, she’s still fantastic and she can actually really sing. But hey, I liked her in House of Wax too. So let’s continue.

The spotlight performances are kind of hard to pick out as everyone is incredible. Alexa Vega (Spy Kids), Paul Sorvino (Bulworth), Anthony Head (Buffy the Vampire Slayer), Sarah Brightman (The Phantom of the Opera) and Nivek Ogre (from the awesome band, Skinny Puppy) are all so good it’s ridiculous, but if I had to pick one… well, I can’t. Top three performances in this movie are Anthony Head, Sarah Brightman and Nivek Ogre.

Some people might be turned away by the fact that Repo! The Genetic Opera is a musical, but give it a chance. You’ll be rewarded. There’s plenty of blood shed and the music is actually really good.

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With Hostel: Part II, Eli Roth takes a bit of a different approach and while some think it was a failure, I see it as not necessarily a success, but a damn good try. He doesn’t focus as much on the gore, works on his characters more and gives the entire film more of a psychological feel. The truly chilling nature of this movie is found more in the mood than in the blood, and I think that took guts (no pun intended) on Roth’s part.

It would have been easy to make a carbon copy of Hostel here and honestly, I was a bit concerned that’s what Hostel: Part II would be when it opens with the sole survivor of the first, Paxton – played once again by Jay Hernandez. As much as I like Jay, I was glad to see he didn’t stick around long. In the end, bringing Paxton back tied both movies together nicely.

The cast in Hostel: Part II is equally as good as the cast of the original and I was especially glad to see Bijou Philips (Wizards of Gore). She did a great job playing Whitney and I look forward to seeing her in more horror movies.

All said, Hostel: Part II is a admirable attempt by Eli Roth to develop characters a little better and make people care about who is being hacked up instead of just waiting for it to happen. Maybe he fell a little short, but he came damn close.

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